haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
