Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
