you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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