don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
