look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
