I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
