break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
His nipple licking is glorious
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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