you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
