so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Damn victory sex feels great
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