We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
