Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
