Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
