I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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