i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
