Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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