Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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