chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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