I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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