I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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