are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize