I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize