Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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