She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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