dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
