I must be too annoying 4 u.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize