Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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