I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
