i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
