i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
