I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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