Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
