whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
