i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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