There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
