I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
