So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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