Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize