i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
