Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize