Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
