don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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