Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
