how can u be prego again
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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