Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
