Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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