at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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