My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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