there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
