Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
