I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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