i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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