If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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