is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
