My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
