The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
