And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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