i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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