The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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