I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
