i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
