a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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