I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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