The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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