I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize