she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
