are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
How's work?
Spinning.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
