You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Two words: blizzard sex
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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