i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
