I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
