in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
