Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
