Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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