I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
