my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
